A Friend’s Revelation
Cody quietly shut his door. He had studying to do, but, again, Adam was going to make that impossible. Adam, his roommate—and the man he was secretly in love with. All 6’2”, 180 lbs. of gorgeous, green eyed, brown haired hunk. Two years they had been sharing a small two bedroom apartment a mile off campus. Adam graduated last year. Cody had another year to go. Adam had found a job right out of college, but certainly not in his field. He graduated with a bachelor’s in computer engineering. And where was he working? At a gay club as a bartender. The Backdoor. A gay club Cody frequented until Adam started working there. Adam didn’t know Cody was gay. Cody preferred to keep that way since Adam ought to install a revolving door to his bedroom with the number of girls who traipsed through there.
And every time Adam brought someone home, Cody’s heart would break a little more. Lately, it had been so bad, Cody had started avoiding Adam. It just hurt too much. And one day, Adam was going to figure it out. Cody was just thankful he was a quiet person to begin with. That way, Adam wouldn’t be suspicious. Of course, Adam had already noticed Cody never brought anyone home. Had even offered to introduce him to a few of his female…friends. Cody had politely—and with a stifled shudder—declined, using the excuse, he had too much studying to do. Adam, being Adam, took it in stride, but never stopped offering. Cody knew he was gay since the tender age of 13, but kept himself in the closet away from his parents, family and friends. He just didn’t have the courage to out himself.
Those family, and friends never helped either. There were the slurs, and bigoted comments. The occasional bragging of minor violence. How could he possible come out when he was surrounded by homophobes? Though, he had to admit Adam had never voiced an opinion of gays one way, or the other. And he supposed Adam didn’t have a problem with gays if he was working at a gay bar. Cody was only glad there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Once he graduated, he and Adam would go their separate ways, and Cody had every intention of cutting ties, and starting somewhere new where he didn’t have to hide what, and who he was. He closed his eyes, as he heard the noises from Adam’s room.
Damn the thin walls!
Cody slammed his text book shut. There was no way he was going to get any studying done tonight. He grabbed his keys, and wallet, intent on getting out of the apartment until Adam was done with his latest breeder. As he passed Adam’s closed door, he heard giggling. Sheesh, but the girl had a low voice. He shook his head, grabbed his jacket off the rack by the door, and left, unable to stop from slamming the door after him. Luckily, tomorrow was Saturday, and his paper wasn’t due until the end of next week.
Three hours, and too many beers later, Cody stumbled home. It took him several tries just to get his key into the lock. He turned the doorknob, pushed the door open with his body, and fell to his hands, and knees. Mind fuzzy, he crawled forward, kicked the door shut, and curled up right where he was, keys still clutched in his hand, other arm curled under him like a pillow.
Adam heard the quiet click of Cody’s bedroom door. He poked his head out into the hall, checked to make sure Cody’s door was actually shut, hurried to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of water, and rushed back to his room, closing the door quickly, but silently. He handed one bottle to Bryan, and gestured for him to continue. This was really awkward. Adam had never had a gay man in his room. And he’d been unable to forget the look the man had given him. The same look of interest girls gave him all the time, including a lot of the girls he’d interviewed in the chair Bryan occupied now. The same look he got from a lot of the men at the club. Awkward because he was interviewing a guy this time. A guy talking dirty, and making sexual noises—in his bedroom. Jesus, he hoped Cody couldn’t hear. How embarrassing would that be? He rolled his eyes when Bryan giggled. “Bryan…” he warned, trying to keep the young man on task.
Moments later, he heard the front door slam. Shit! “Excuse me, Bryan.” Adam interrupted, and exited his bedroom again. A quick glance showed Cody’s bedroom door open. Adam peaked in, but Cody wasn’t there. God, he hoped his friend hadn’t overheard anything. He quickly checked the rest of the apartment, but Cody was gone. Adam sighed. That meant he could get Bryan out of there without Cody seeing him. He went back to his room. “Ok, Bryan. I think we’re done here. I’ll have Mr. Harrington call you if you get the job.” Adam shook hands with the guy, noticing he held Adam’s hand a little longer than necessary, not that it bothered Adam. Adam was a touchy feely affectionate sort of guy anyway. He gave a mental shrug.
Adam was in bed when he heard a loud thump coming from the living room. He glanced at his bedside clock. Two am. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he got up, slipped on a pair of boxers, and walked out to see what had made the noise he’d heard. What he found, was Cody passed out on the floor by the door. Adam vaguely wondered what would have caused Cody to drink so much. Cody wasn’t a drinker. It took an act of God for Adam to get Cody to go out to the bars with him, and his friend flat refused to go to the Backdoor with him. Adam assumed it was because Cody didn’t like gays, which Adam found puzzling since his friend always seemed so accepting of people’s differences. Same as Adam was.
Smiling indulgently at Cody’s inert form, he crouched down, and wrestled Cody into a sitting position, Cody‘s back leaning against Adam‘s bare chest. “Hey buddy.” He gently slapped Cody’s face. Nothing. Well, it was a good thing Cody wasn’t a big guy. Just under 5’8”, and slim of build, Adam didn’t have any trouble hoisting his friend to a standing position, though Adam had Cody’s full weight leaning against him. He circled his arms around his inebriated friend holding him up. Cheek to cheek, he tried again to rouse Cody. “Hey, Cody. Wake up. I need you to hold onto me so I can get you to bed. You need to walk.” Cody stirred, and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck. “Adam…” Adam heard Cody mumble. Adam leaned Cody against the wall so he could get a better grip on the smaller man. He watched Cody’s brown eyes flutter open, and his friend gave a lopsided grin. Adam was always startled by Cody’s intense, cameral colored eyes. It was as if his friend were looking right into him.
‘Hi, Adam.” Cody murmured, and tightened his arms around Adam’s neck.
“Come on, babe, let’s get you to bed.” Adam maneuvered Cody so he could half drag; half walk his friend down the hall, Cody clinging the entire way. Once in Cody’s room, Adam deposited him on his bed. Cody refused to let go, so Adam almost ended up toppling right on top of Cody. He gently pried Cody’s arms from around his neck, twisted his friend so he was lying down. He removed Cody’s shoes, and socks, and then looked at him wondering if he should take off his shirt, and pants too.
Cody, like Adam, slept in the nude. Adam only knew that because he’d needed to borrow a text book last year, and had knocked on Cody’s door. Cody was half asleep, and called Adam to come in without thinking. Adam had gotten the full naked view of Cody’s backside. Adam had been shocked he’d noticed Cody had a very nice backside. He’d dismissed it as a long, exhausting night of studying, and he wasn’t thinking clearly.
Now, he figured it was okay to make his friend comfortable, so he undid Cody’s jeans, and pulled them down. To his surprise, Cody lifted his hips, mumbling, though Adam didn’t catch what Cody said. He was also shocked to see his friend had gone commando. Okay, he wasn’t sure what that was about. He folded the jeans, and set them on the dresser. He sat on the side of the bed, trying to ignore the fact Cody was half hard, and pulled his friend into a sitting position. He pulled Cody’s shirt off, and Cody wrapped his arms around Adam’s shoulders, burying his face against Adam’s neck. Okay, this was…unsettling. Especially when Adam’s body responded. What the hell?
Adam grabbed Cody’s arms, pulling them away, but not before he could have sworn Cody kissed the side of his neck. Adam shook his head. Had to be his imagination, and tried to ignore his body’s reaction. He stood up quickly, still trying not to look at Cody’s erection, and reached for the blanket. He covered Cody, and watched as his friend turned onto his side, curling up into a fetal position. Cody was mumbling again, but Adam couldn’t understand the words, so he leaned down to hear him. “M’sorry Adam. Can’t help it. Not your fault.” Adam stood back up when Cody’s mumbles turned into soft snores. What the hell had that been about? Adam folded Cody’s shirt, and laid it on top of his jeans, then left Cody’s room, closing the door behind him. He doubted Cody would remember a thing in the morning. Giving a huge yawn, Adam went back to bed, pushing the whole confusing encounter to the back of his mind.
Cody woke with a start, sat up quickly, then groaned, and grabbed his pounding head. Fuck! Just how much had he drank? He sat very still, waiting for the thudding inside his skull to lessen. Once the pain had reduced to a dull ache, he opened blurry eyes. First thing he noticed was he was in his own bed—nude. The second thing he noticed was his folded clothes on his dresser, and the bottle of Advil, and a glass of water on his night stand. He knew he hadn’t been in any condition to fold his clothes, or grab medication. Which meant…Adam. Shit!
Moving slowly, he got up, dressed, and headed to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, and tried to straighten out his bed head hair. It was useless. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself to face his humiliation. He made his way to the kitchen, unsuccessfully ignoring a stretched out, half naked Adam on the sofa. Cody felt his cock stir, and was immensely grateful he’d pulled on loose sweats, and a long t-shirt. He tried to think unsexy thoughts to get his cock to behave. Really. Coffee, he needed coffee.
“Cody? You okay?”
Cody dropped the mug in his hand when he heard Adam right behind him. He swiveled around too fast, and swayed from dizziness, grabbing his head. “Yeah…” he managed to get out; eyes squeezed shut against the throbbing pain in his head. He felt Adam grab his arms to steady him. Instinctively, he jerked away, which only led to him stumbling against the counter, adding a sharp pain to his lower back to go with his headache.
“Whoa, babe. You’re not okay.”
Adam grabbed his arms again, and Cody forced himself not to pull away, just so he wouldn’t hurt himself further. Adam guided him the kitchen table, and gently pushed him down into a chair. He then went, and grabbed the coffee mug Cody had dropped, poured coffee, added flavored creamer, and sweet-n-low, and brought it over to set in front of Cody. “Thanks.” Cody whispered, and curled his hands around the warm cup. He took a sip, somewhat surprised Adam knew how he drank it. He watched Adam sit down in the opposite chair, and stare silently at him. Irritated, Cody snapped. “What?”
“No need to bite my head off, Cody. Care to tell me why you drank yourself into oblivion last night?”
Because I love you, and you are banging every girl in a twenty mile radius? God, no! He didn’t what to tell Adam why. “No.” Cody answered out loud. He dropped his face into his hands, not wanting to see those bright green eyes staring intently at him.
“School problems?” Adam guessed.
“No.” Cody answered.
“Financial?” Adam tried again.
“No.” Cody repeated.
“No!” Cody said again…a little too fast, a little too loud. He groaned in pain.
“Cody. Something put you on a huge bender. What‘s wrong?” Adam pushed.
Cody’s head continued to pound, and he was half tempted to blurt out ‘boyfriend troubles…or the lack of’, but didn’t. “Nothing, Adam, okay? Just drop it.” A stab of guilt filled Cody to, not only lie to Adam, but to be snappish at his friend.
“Did you take the Advil I left you?” Adam said, his voice gentler.
Cody shook his head in his hands, and instantly regretted it. He heard the scrape of wood on wood as Adam scooted the chair back, and walked out of the kitchen. He was back moments later, shaking a couple of tablets out of the bottle. He lightly pulled one of Cody’s hands away from his face, and dropped the tablets in his palm.
“Here. Take these. They will make you feel better.” he said softly.
Adam knew there was something wrong. It was so out of character for Cody to drink excessively like that. A beer, or two occasionally was all Adam had ever seen his friend drink. And not even that much lately. He’d hardly seen Cody in the past month, or so. By the time he came in from his shift at the bar, Cody was in bed. When he got up, Cody was in classes, then his part time job at the bookstore. By the time Cody got home, Adam had left for his shift again. And now, with Mr. Harrington enlisting Adam’s help in interviewing for the new sex phone business he was starting, there was even less time for them to see each other.
Adam had every intention of taking advantage today since neither of them worked on Saturdays, and Cody didn’t have classes. Adam dropped his chin into his hand, elbow on the table, still studying Cody. It didn’t get by him that Cody wouldn’t look at him. And now that he thought about it, Cody had been avoiding his gaze a lot. “I didn’t know you talked in your sleep.” Adam commented, just to see Cody’s reaction. Maybe he could shock him into confessing. He hadn’t expected the reaction he got.
Cody looked up sharply at Adam’s comment, all the color draining from his face. He jumped up, and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door before falling over the toilet and, puking. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!! What had he said? Whatever it was, it would have been about Adam. The man was always on Cody’s mind. Cody half expected Adam to follow him into the bathroom, and he wasn’t disappointed. Suddenly, a cool hand was rubbing circles on his back…soothing.
“Jesus, Cody. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to send you running.”
The hand went away, and Cody heard the sink running. He felt a cup of water pushed into his hand, and he rinsed the nasty taste from his mouth. Stomach feeling better, but head still pounding, and body shaking, he stood up. God, he would never drink again. He didn’t even flinch when Adam curled an arm around his waist, and helped him to the living room to sit on the couch. Adam settled next to him, propped a leg up so he was turned towards Cody. Cody leaned his head back against the soft cushion, highly aware of Adam’s knee against his hip. Again, his cock stirred, and Cody shifted so that his shirt covered the growing erection.
Taking a deep breath, Cody asked. “So, what did I say in my sleep?” And what did he do in his drunken state? And, oh God, what was Adam thinking when he stripped Cody? Cody’s stomach began to churn again.
Adam watched Cody carefully. His friend was trembling. Adam could feel it through his knee where it connected to Cody. When he looked down at that connection, he saw something else that astonished him. Something Cody was trying to hide when he shifted. Adam tried to think back. Tried to remember if he’d ever gotten that look from Cody. The one he got from a lot of the gay men at the bar. Was Cody gay? Was Cody attracted to him? And if so, why the hell didn’t that idea bother him?
“You were mostly mumbling.” Adam answered Cody’s question. “All I really got was, “I’m sorry, Adam. Can’t help it. Not your fault.”. He waited to see if Cody would offer an explanation, but his friend remained silent. The only reaction was the tightening of Cody’s hands where they were clenched in his lap.
“Anything else?” Cody finally asked, his voice raspy.
“Well…you were hugging on me a lot, but we’re friends, so no big deal. And you…well, you kind of kissed me.” Adam said, watching Cody intently. Cody groaned, leaned forward, and buried his face in his hands. His muffled voice floated up, but it sounded like he was talking more to himself than to Adam.
“I cannot believe I did that. What was I thinking? Fuck!”
Adam contained a smile. “Relax, babe. It’s not like you planted one on my mouth. You just kind of nuzzled me on the neck, and kissed me there.” He heard Cody mumble, and almost laughed. “Did you just say what I thought you said?” Cody shook his head. Adam knew he had heard something that sounded an awful lot like ‘too bad’. “Cody?” Adam queried. Cody just kept shaking his head. Okay, this was getting surreal. Cody was sporting wood, and Adam was half hard himself, and couldn’t begin to understand why. He wasn’t gay. Of course, he’d only had a handful of girlfriends, and only slept with two of them, and those encounters had been…mediocre, at best.
It had been awkward, sloppy, and embarrassing when he’d lost his virginity with the first one, and the second had been downright boring, and unwilling to participate much. Adam had been left with a hefty dose of disappointment as far as sex was concerned. And if he was honest with himself, the passion he saw between the gay men at the bar fascinated him. Maybe that’s why Mr. Harrington had given him the extra job of interviewing for his new business. Did that make him gay? Maybe. Would it bother him if he was? No.
Cody was mortified. Oh yeah, he’d never drink again. Not if it made him jump his best friend. Not to mentioned, it bugged the hell out of him he couldn’t remember doing any of that. And he wanted to remember. It was probably the only chance he’d ever have of anything intimate with Adam, and he’d been drunk through it. Shit! Even now, he was fighting the urge to grab Adam, pull him down on top of him, and demand he fuck him senseless. Shit! Shit! Shit! Adam was, also, getting dangerously close to figuring out how Cody felt about him. Cody suddenly stood. He needed to put some space between himself and Adam. The temptation was getting to be too much. It had been building for over two years for Christ’s sake! He turned only to have Adam grab his arm, and spin him around until their chests bumped together. Cody immediately stepped back.
“Oh no you don’t Cody McAllister. Something is bothering you, and I want to know what it is.”
Adam’s low voice sent shivers up Cody’s spine, and his hand still holding Cody’s arm. Cody tried to pull away, then froze when he felt Adam’s lips on his. Holy fuck! Adam was kissing him!
Cody’s brain finally kicked in again, and he struggled out of Adam’s grip. He stared at his friend. “What the fuck?!” he blurted out. His breath was coming in gasps just from that brief contact, and there was no hiding his erection now. Adam stared back at him, a strange look on his face. “What the fuck?” Cody repeated. “Why did you do that?” Cody added, heart thudding at hyper speed. Adam shrugged his shoulders, but his eyes never left Cody’s face.
“Because I wanted to?” he offered.
Cody shook his head. “But you’re not gay!” Cody said, trying to clarify. Why on earth would a man, who had more girls in his bed than Cody wanted to admit, kiss him in the first place? Why would he want to?
“But you are.”
It was a statement, not a question. Cody dropped his gaze, his face burning, and nodded. He chanced a look up, and saw Adam smiling. Smiling? Was his friend making fun of him? Cody frowned, whirled around, and ran to his bedroom. He slammed the door, and locked it. He paced his room, even as Adam started banging on his door.
“Cody! Open up! You need to talk to me!”
Adam was yelling through the wood. “NO! Go away Adam!’ he shouted back. He could not handle this now. His fingers traced his lips. Lips that were still tingling from the warm feeling of Adam’s mouth.
“I’m not leaving this door until you come out, Cody. You’ll have to piss sooner, or later.” Adam continued to shout.
Come out? Cody thought with disgust. Well, he’d already done that, hadn’t he? Cody threw himself on his bed, and stared at the ceiling, his eyes stinging. Jesus, what was he going to do now? He had no doubt Adam would do what he said. He knew his friend was stubborn. But Cody couldn’t face him. Not now. Not now Adam knew he was gay. Cody heard scraping along his door, but ignored it. Great. He was trapped in his room because he was a coward. His mind was racing. What had Adam’s smile been about? Did he think it funny Cody was gay? Hilarious that his roommate liked dick? Did he think Cody was a joke? Cody had been prepared for anger, and disgust, even revulsion if anyone he knew found out about his orientation, but he hadn’t expected amusement. And that made him angry. Angry that Adam would find it hysterical. Anger at himself for being afraid. Anger at the world for not being accepting in general. Anger at God for making him this way. Cody was grinding his teeth so hard, his jaw ached. What the hell was he going to do now?
Adam sprinted after Cody but wasn’t fast enough to stop him from slamming his door. He tried the knob, but wasn’t surprised to find it locked. “Cody! Open up! You need to talk to me!” Adam shouted, fists banging. Wasn’t that the truth! Adam didn’t know what possessed him to kiss Cody. The urge was just there. But the reaction was unexpected. He’d gotten so hard, so fast, that he’d been dizzy. His senses had been overloaded in seconds. Cody’s unique scent had surrounded him. It was familiar, but he’d never noticed before. The woodsy, slightly citrus, somewhat spicy, and very male odor.
Cody’s lips had been warm, and soft, and Adam hadn’t been prepared for the lightening that had shot through his nerves, and was still making his body tingle. Was this passion? Was this what all those gay men at the bar sought out? Was that why they came to hook up with each other? “I’m not leaving this door until you come out, Cody. You’ll have to piss sooner, or later.” Adam continued. Adam turned and slid down Cody’s door, making himself as comfortable as he could with a raging hard-on. He pressed the heel of his hand against it, willing it to go down.
Adam tried to piece together his chaotic feelings. Cody was his best friend. Really, his only friend. He’d met him his senior year when he’d gone to the book store to find a reference book on his thesis. Cody had helped him. He’d been distracted with his frustration over his current roommate at the dorms. Baker didn’t take college seriously. The big slob was only there for the partying, and women. Adam couldn’t count the number of times he’d spent the night at the library so Baker could bring one bimbo, or another back to the room. Adam had wandered over to a bulletin board, and saw an advertisement for a roommate. He’d pulled the number off it, and called. He’d been surprised to hear the ringing right there in the store.
When he turned around, Cody was answering his cell. They’d grinned at each other, and made arrangements for Adam to move in that very weekend. They’d spent hours of time together, studying, watching TV, and playing board games. Going out occasionally. Adam had learned quickly, Cody was a homebody, and a very quiet person. Somewhat shy, and fairly private. He never talked much about his personal life, but Adam had learned all the little details about his friend. How he liked to sleep in on weekends, was not a morning person, how he took his coffee, what he liked to eat, how he loved movies with explosions, but hated sports. When he was feeling down, or was happy. But for all that, he’d missed one very important fact. Cody was gay.
And that fact made perfect sense why Cody never brought anyone home. Adam groaned. No wonder Cody had declined any attempts Adam made at offering to introduce him to girls. He could kick himself for making Cody uncomfortable like that. Adam frowned. It occurred to him Cody had been more withdrawn the last couple of months, but Adam had been so busy that he’d not noticed.
His friend hadn’t been happy in a long time. Adam realized…he missed his Cody. He touched his lips. Then another thought occurred to him. What if Cody’s melancholy was due to a…boyfriend…issue? Had Cody been in a break up? Adam gasped at the sharp spike of jealousy that coursed through him. Cody was his! Adam shook his head, stunned. Where the fuck did that come from? Adam had never been a possessive person. Never coveted anything. Did he love Cody? Well, yes, he was his best friend. Loved him like a brother. Adam touched his lips again. Right? Adam wasn’t so sure now. Had he fallen in love with Cody sometime along the way, and didn’t even know it? It wouldn’t have entered his mind since he wasn’t gay, was he? He tried to think if there had been any noticeable attraction for any of the gay men at the bar, and couldn’t think of any. Maybe he wasn’t gay. Maybe it was just Cody.
Adam ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He needed to talk to Cody. He stood, and banged on the door again. “Come on, babe. I need you to talk to me! Please!” Adam stumbled forward when the door was suddenly yanked open, but Cody was already half way back to his bed. Adam watched his friend sit on the edge, not looking at him. Adam stepped into the room, his eyes never leaving Cody. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Nothing to tell.” Cody said with a shrug.
Adam sighed. “You didn’t think it important to let me know I was living with a gay man?” Adam asked, carefully keeping his voice neutral. Adam watched a frown appear on Cody’s profile even as he gave a sharp shake of his head.
“Would it have made a difference?” Cody said softly.
“No.” Adam answered immediately. “Cody, you should know me by now. It wouldn’t have bothered me. I work at a gay club, for Christ’s sakes.” Cody stood, and paced away from Adam.
“Yea, a club I enjoyed, and had to stop going to because you worked there.” Cody said angrily.
“Why? Why did you have to stop going there? Why did you hide this from me?” Cody whirled around, and glared at Adam.
“Because I hide it from everyone! My family would disown me. I’d lose the few friends I have. I couldn’t lose you…I couldn’t lose the man I lo…” Cody trailed off, apparently realizing what he’d almost said. His face flushed red, and he turned away from Adam’s gaze.
Stunned, Adam stared at Cody. “…the man you love.” Adam finished Cody’s sentence in a whisper. He watched Cody’s shoulders, and back stiffen, but his friend didn’t say anything, didn’t deny it. Then Cody slumped back to the bed. He curled up against the headboard, wrapped his arms around his knees, and kept his face away from Adam.
“It doesn’t matter. With all the women parading through your bedroom, it’s not like I would have had a chance with you anyway.” Cody said, his voice resigned.
Adam was torn between laughing at the idea Cody thought he’d slept with all those women, and the urge to groan at the pain he heard in his friend’s voice. “Cody.” Adam started, but Cody interrupted him.
“Just go Adam. Leave me alone.” Cody said hoarsely.
Something twisted in Adam’s chest when he realized Cody was crying. “I can’t do that, Cody. Not before you understand something. I didn’t sleep with any of those girls.” Adam began, but Cody snorted in disbelief. Adam ignored it. “Didn’t sleep with the man who was here last night either.” he added, and fought a smile when Cody’s body jerked in surprise. “Cody, Mr. Harrington has me interviewing potential employees for a sex phone service he’s starting. I never touched any of them. Hell, I haven’t had sex since before I moved in here. Not unless you count my hand.” Adam admitted with a wry smile. He watched Cody turn and look at him incongruously, the tear tracks visible in the sunlight from Cody’s window.
Adam gave Cody a small smile. “Haven’t been interested in sleeping with anyone…until now.” Adam said softly, and gestured to his groin, where his erection was straining behind his fly. He watched Cody’s eyes widen at what he saw, watched as Cody licked his lips, and nearly groaned as a shot of pure desire traveled from stomach up his shaft making it throb harder. “Jesus, babe, you’re killing me.” Adam said, his voice going gravelly. He saw Cody shaking his head.
“But you’re not gay.”
Adam shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know if I’m gay, or not. I just know I want you.” Adam murmured sincerely, admitting it to himself as well as Cody. It felt right. Cody continued to shake his head.
“You don’t know what you are saying. What you are asking. And I won’t be some experiment for a straight man. I won’t be used that way, even if I am in the closet.”
Adam could tell his friend was serious. “Cody, I don’t know anything about all this gay stuff. I only know how I feel. I’m not attracted to any of the gay men at the bar, so maybe it’s just you. But I haven’t been attracted to any women in years. I’ve had sex with only two, and it was…well, damn it, it was boring. I spent most of the time worrying I’d hurt the girl, and the rest wondering whether she was enjoying it. At least with a guy, you know if he’s getting off.” Adam said in disgust, staring at the floor. He turned back to Cody when he heard his friend laughing. “What?” Adam asked in confusion.
“Jesus, Adam, you’re practically a virgin.”
Adam blushed, before clearing his throat, and piercing Cody with a sharp stare. He watched Cody’s breathe catch. “I will repeat, Cody. I don’t know if I’m gay, or not, but I know what I want…who I want. I’ve always been…drawn to you, and didn’t know why. I never questioned it. Just thought it was because we connected as friends, but maybe now I know there’s more to it.” Adam said, his green eyes holding Cody’s brown ones.
Adam watched as Cody stood up, and walked over until he was standing in front of Adam, looking up at him. Without a word, Cody cupped Adam’s erection, and squeezed gently. An involuntary groan escaped Adam, but he never took his eyes off Cody.
“Is this something you really want? You have no idea just how intense sex between men can be.” Cody said in a low voice. He didn’t bother to tell Adam it was even more intense between men who had feelings for each other. Of course, Adam never said he loved Cody. Just that he wanted him. Cody would take what he could get, despite telling Adam he wouldn’t be an experiment.
“Have you been with a lot of men, Cody?”
Cody shook his head. He could count his lovers on one hand. Cody stroked Adam through his jeans, feeling Adam rock slightly into his hand. “What do you want, Adam?” Cody asked, his voice deepening in anticipation. Adam shrugged.
“I don’t know…everything?”
Cody chuckled. “Well, we can’t do everything at once. Do you want to fuck me?” Cody asked, and Adam nodded. Cody saw Adam’s green eyes darken instantly. “I’m a switch, Adam. Do you know what that means?” Cody asked, continuing to stroke Adam. Adam shook his head. “It means that I am comfortable being fucked, and fucking. A bottom means being fucked only. A top is the guy doing the fucking exclusively. What would you say you are? Would you ever want me inside you?” Cody asked, hardly believing he was having this conversation, much less with Adam. He watched Adam nod. That surprised Cody. He’d always thought of Adam as a top. As a dominant, though Cody was not into the leather scene at all.
Cody noticed Adam’s hands clenched into fists at his side, and realized…Adam was scared. Cody took his hands, and caressed Adam’s until his fists relaxed. “You can touch me.” Giving Adam the permission he seemed to be waiting for. The moment the words were out of Cody’s mouth, Adam’s hands were on him, touching, and caressing everywhere. Tentatively, and gently at first, then with more determination, more pressure, ore purpose, Adam kneading muscles from his neck down his back. When Adam cupped his ass, he drew Cody closer, grinding their erections together, and Cody gasped at the sensations that rocked through him.
Without thinking, Cody wrapped his arms around Adam, mirroring the taller man’s actions. He looked up to see Adam’s face, only to have Adam’s mouth cover his. He gasped again, and Adam invaded. Their tongues were dueling, and little whimpers were coming from somewhere. Cody suspected they were from him. Adam tasted like toothpaste, coffee and…Adam, and Cody couldn’t get enough. He’d longed for this for months, for the last two years. Adam suddenly broke the kiss, and stared down at Cody. His eyes had darkened to a forest green, and his pupils were blown wide with lust. Cody had never seen that look on Adam, and it caused a shiver of need to run through him.
“What do we do? I need…I want…tell me what to do, babe.” Adam said hoarsely. Adam had to have Cody…right now. He’d been petrified when Cody was stroking him, wanting to touch his friend so badly. Then Cody had allowed him to, and Adam wanted to touch every part of Cody. He wanted Cody’s clothes off so he could feel his skin. Wanted to stroke Cody like Cody was stroking him. Wanted to taste his friend, mouth, skin…cock. He was shocked at his own need. When he’d pulled his friend closer, and their erections had collided, Adam had to hold back a moan. When Cody had wrapped his arms around Adam, Adam’s need had skyrocketed to include Cody touching him, tasting him. He wanted Cody to know every part of his body. Wanted to give everything to the younger man. And the overwhelming need cemented Adam’s indecision. He was gay. And he didn’t give a damn as long as he could have Cody.
Cody pulled from Adam’s embrace, and Adam watched as Cody pulled off his shirt. Butterflies erupted in his stomach when he saw Cody had a nipple ring. That was hot, and Adam wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before. He reached out, and gave it a gentle twist, and heard Cody whimper. Cody’s chest was smooth, and hairless, his skin pale compared to his dark hair, and light brown eyes. His muscles were defined under his skin. Cody was thin, but not skinny. Perfect, Adam thought.
He watched avidly as Cody shimmied out of his sweats, his erection springing free. Cody was long, thin and cut, the swollen head a dusky rose color. Adam’s mouth watered, and he was stunned at his reaction. Never would he have thought the sight of another man’s erection would make him crazy with want. Fast losing the ability to even think, Adam dropped to his knees, and reached out to encircle Cody’s shaft with his hand.
He leaned forward, and ran the flat of his tongue across the head, licking away the drop of pre-cum that had pooled from the slit. Cody’s taste exploded over Adam’s tongue. Damn! Cody tasted good! “Fuck! Fuck! Adam!” Cody cried out, but Adam ignored him as he sucked the swollen head into his mouth. Adam had never had a blow job, but he’d fantasized enough to know what he’d like, so that’s what he did. Laving Cody’s shaft from base to tip, following the pulsing vein along the underside of Cody‘s length. He rolled his tongue along the sensitive skin between head, and shaft, and felt Cody jerk in pleasure, so he did it again.
Cody bucked, and pushed his engorged cock deeper into Adam’s mouth. Adam gagged, and pulled his head back, but he wasn’t embarrassed. Cody knew Adam had never done this before. He felt Cody’s fingers tangle into his hair, guiding him. He could hear Cody’s whimpers, and gasps, which only made his desire escalate. “Adam…” Cody moaned. That, and Cody’s hands tightening on Adam’s head were the only warning he got before Adam erupted into his mouth. Adam swallowed, but was unable to keep up with the load Cody spewed. Come dribbled down his chin even as Cody began to soften. Adam pulled back, letting Cody’s shaft fall from his mouth. He looked up at Cody’s face, seeing the stunned look there, before Cody was dragging him to his feet by his shoulders, and licking the spent come off his face.
“Jesus, Adam, you’re a natural.” Cody exclaimed, awed.
Adam blushed, but the overwhelming need was still pulsing through him. “Cody, can I fuck you? Please?” Adam pleaded. Cody didn’t say a word, as he started removing Adam’s clothes. “I’ve wanted to see you naked forever.” Cody whispered, as he caressed every expanse of skin revealed. When Adam was bare, Cody stepped back to admire. “Beautiful.” he murmured. Adam was ripped, but not overly bulky. Wide shoulders tapered to a thin waist with a flat six pack. Adam’s legs were long and lithe. He was as smooth on the chest as Cody, which had always pleased Cody. He didn’t like an overly hairy, bear of a man. But it was his cock that took Cody’s breath away. As long as Cody‘s, but thicker, it jutted from the nest of dark curls at Adam’s groin. The cut head was purple and leaking where it bumped against Adam’s stomach. Cody wanted to taste it. But he wanted Adam inside him more. He pointed at his bed, and moved to his nightstand while Adam got comfortable. He pulled a condom packet out, and a fairly new bottle of lube. He wasn’t actually looking forward to preparing himself, feeling embarrassed about it, but knowing Adam wouldn’t have a clue how to do it, or even that it needed to be done. His lovers had always prepared him as part of the foreplay, which Cody had enjoyed. He crawled onto the bed beside his friend, and gave him a sheepish smile. “I have to…prepare myself to…so I can take your…so you can fuck me.” He pointed at Adam’s erection. “That won’t fit if I don’t, and it will hurt.” He watched Adam frown.
“It hurts? I don’t want to hurt you, Cody.” He’d never heard that sex between men hurt. Of course, he’d never heard anything about sex between men. He hadn’t even tried anal sex with the two women he’d slept with. Adam watched Cody shake his head. He’d never seen Cody so red before.
“It won’t as long as I do this.” Cody reassured him.
He watched Cody flip the lid to the lubrication, and squirt some on his fingers. When Cody reached between his legs, and Adam figured out what he was going to do, he grabbed Cody’s wrist to stop him. “Let me? Can I do this? I want to do this.” Cody nodded, but didn’t say anything. Adam saw the relief in his eyes, though. Cody handed the bottle to Adam. “How do you want me? We can do it with me on my hands, and knees, on my back or, my favorite, on my side.” Cody didn’t bother telling Adam that he really didn’t want Adam fucking him. He wanted Adam making love to him, and Cody’s fantasies were most often with Adam making love to him on their sides. He figured that was too much to ask. Adam didn’t love him like he loved Adam. This was just fucking. “Your favorite then.” Adam said, and Cody’s heart skipped a beat. He watched Adam lube his fingers. Adam was already on his side, facing Cody. So Cody rolled over from his back, and scooted closer to Adam. He wrapped an arm around Adam’s waist, and pulled his body flush against Adam‘s. He heard Adam hum with pleasure, and his heart skipped a beat again. He lifted his leg to wrap it around Adam’s hip, and open himself up, and then guided Adam’s slicked hand to his backside. He could feel Adam’s erection, hot and throbbing against his balls, so he rocked a little, feeling smug when Adam involuntarily rocked back. “Go slow. Tease, and push until you can get one finger past the muscle. Move it around a lot, then add a second, then a third. It stretches me out to take your cock.” Cody instructed, feeling kind of silly having to explain fingering to a grown man. But Adam was essentially a man virgin. Cody tried to remember back when he was 16, and had anal sex for the first time. It hadn’t been the same. That time had hurt…bad. The other boy hadn’t known what he was doing any more than Cody did. There’d been no lube, and a lot of pain. Cody had almost given up ever being a bottom again after that. Until he’d met Ty, and Ty had done it right. Cody had enjoyed bottoming after that, though he’d not enjoyed the fact Ty was cheating on a long term partner. Cody dropped Ty when he found out.
Adam’s stomach fluttered as Cody plastered his body against his own. It was so intimate, that Adam thought his heart was going to burst with emotion. When Cody dragged the soft skin of his balls against Adam’s shaft, he couldn’t help back rock back. Then Cody was guiding his hand to the crease of his ass. Adam nodded at Cody’s instructions. If he thought Cody’s body up against his was intimate, the idea he was about to breach Cody’s most private entrance was beyond intimate, it was…was…Adam didn’t even have the words. Cody had not been kidding when he said sex between men was intense. Concentrating, he rubbed his fingers along the puckered hole, running it around, teasing, and pushing occasionally. He could feel it pulsing, and clenching, as if it were seeking his finger. His concentration was shattered when Cody started kissing him, wet, open mouthed kisses along his jaw, and neck. Cody’s hands were wandering too, including caressing between his own ass cheeks. He felt his own hole trembling in response. Damn! He tried to focus, and gently pushed a finger into Cody’s body. His lover’s inside was hot and slick…and tight. As he moved his finger around like Cody had told him, he felt a bump. The moment he rubbed across it, Cody moaned, and bucked forward, his mouth latching onto Adam’s neck, and sucking hard. Curious, he rubbed across it again, and Cody whimpered. Cody was so far gone in pleasure, Adam didn’t bother to ask. He added another finger, remembering to rub across that little knot. He could feel Cody’s shaft hardening between their bodies. Adam’s own cock was so swollen, it hurt. He wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer, and didn’t want to spew too soon like an inexperienced teenager. He added a third finger, moving them, and scissoring them to stretch Cody as much as possible. Adam knew he wasn’t small, and didn’t want to hurt Cody.
“Now, Adam. I’m ready…need you inside me.” Cody gasped. Adam gave a shudder at the raw need in Cody’s voice. He carefully pulled his fingers from Cody’s body. Adam leaned back, quickly sheathed himself, and added more lube to his swollen shaft. With a little help from Cody, Adam hiked Cody’s body higher, and tilted his own hips so that the head of his cock bumped against Cody’s entrance. Slowly, he pushed against the resistance. He sucked in a breath when the head of his cock popped through the muscle, and the rest of his shaft followed smoothly, until he was seated all the way inside Cody’s body, the younger man’s ass cheeks lying warm against his groin. There was nothing like it. Adam froze, reveling in the heat that surrounded him. He could feel Cody’s rapidly beating heart through the flesh against his shaft.
“Move, baby! Please…”
Adam’s arms tightened around Cody at the plea, and endearment. He pulled slowly out, grinding his teeth to keep from coming. It felt so wonderful. As he glided back in all the way, Cody started kissing him again, this time urgently…and rough. “I won’t break…harder!” Cody gasped. That’s all Adam needed to hear. He captured Cody’s mouth in a brutal, scorching kiss, and accelerated his thrusts. It wasn’t long before the room was filled with the slap of sweaty skin, grunts, moans, low curses, and gasps. Adam could feel his orgasm building, his skin felt like fire, his mind numb with the realization that he was making love to his best friend. Just when he couldn’t hold out much longer, he felt Cody’s channel clamp down hard on his shaft. Not even a second later, Adam felt the heat of Cody’s release between their bodies as Cody cried out. “Fuck! Cody! So good…!” Adam shouted as his orgasm overtook him, his seed filling the condom, and Cody’s finger in his ass. He bucked, and snapped his hips, driving Cody’s finger deeper within himself until he felt something that made his body explode, and he cried out again as a second orgasm shook him. Fuck! Adam’s hips thrust forward one last time, and held tightly against Cody’s body as he emptied himself, Cody’s spasming channel milking every drop from him.
Adam’s body suddenly went limp as he gasped for breath. Intense? That didn’t even begin to describe what just happened. Cody was still clinging to Adam, Adam’s softening shaft still buried to the hilt inside Cody. His friend was trembling with aftershocks. Adam thrust a couple of more times, Cody gasping in pleasure, before pulling out of his lover. His lover. Cody was his lover. Adam’s heart swelled again, and he smiled. He kissed Cody tenderly on the lips as he rolled over to his back. He pulled Cody into his arms, and laid there, enjoying the afterglow of the best sex he’d ever had. Oh yeah! He loved Cody. There was no doubt in his mind now. And gay? If this is what it meant to be gay…then bring it on! Adam knew he’d never go back to sleeping with women. For two reasons. One, because it could never…ever compare to what he, and Cody had just done. And two, because, if Adam was nothing, he was faithful. He loved Cody, and that was that. There was no going back. There would never be another for Adam. “I love you.” Adam whispered into Cody’s hair. A soft snore answered him. Adam smiled. He’d have plenty of time to show Cody he loved him….maybe when they woke up? Adam thought as he closed his eyes, and sank down into a sated sleep.